Stankin Up Da Joint

Matchup of the week: Samurai at FEC
WEEK 7: Hump Week

We are mid-way through the regular season games and have a decent idea of the division races that are shaping up. For the Lombardi Conference, the tightest division is Hollywood Joes (Motown, Jeep, Angels, and Stinky) where less than 10 in Points For Average separate all teams. Every team in this division is 4-3 or 3-4, so there are no front-runners, yet. In the House of Pain division, Samurai and DP are killing AAA and Hitmen in Points for, but Samurai is only leading the division by one game. That is no doubt due to one of the highest scoring games this year between Samurai and DP (175.57 vs. 152.40).

In the Schula Conference, Krypton and FEC are the clear-cut leaders in the Sackmasters Division where Ramrod is in third place at 3 games behind. Did I hear you crying like a baby on the Smackboard!?

Krypton and FEC are on their way to securing playoff spots. Grindhouse controls the Midway Marauders division even though they are leading St. Louis Rules by one game. Two of STL’s four wins were eked out against weak competition, so I anticipate that he could be overtaken by Phish down the stretch.

Now gentlemen, it is important to realize that we will be fighting for our conference and divisional bragging rights. The Midway Marauders play against the Hollywood Joes and the Sackmasters fight against the House of Pain. Which conference will be able to do the superior dance?

Included are a few of the highlight matchups:

Hitmen (3-4) vs. FCC (1-6)

In a battle of the people under the stairs (both teams are 4th in their division) we see Hitmen and FCC battling it out. I predict a no-holds-barred, limp-wristed, slap-fest with the occasional titty-twister. Lame ass prediction of the week: The final tweak will go to Hitmen and FCC will use his Flaming Chankla to light his way to go back under the stairs.

Jeepsters (4-3) vs. Speed (2-5)

I will only be watching this match up to see if Speed can score more than 130 points. To date his best effort is a flat in the front 127.29. Lame ass prediction of the week: Jeepsters drives away with an easy victory and focuses on things that are more important than Fantasy Football!

Samurai (5-2) vs. FEC (4-3)

This is a match up between the #1 ranked team in the House of Pain Division (Samurai) and the #2 ranked team in the Sackmasters Division (FEC). Both teams are coming off of solid performances last week – one in a puke-then-rally mode on Monday Night Football and one with a solid performance by three players (Schaub, Colston, and Cribbs for nearly 91 total points). Picking a winner for this game has more hair than the dumpster behind Supercuts. Okay, that is not really true. Lame ass prediction of the week: FEC has his come from behind stud Eddie Royal off on bye this week, so Samurai will slice and dice his way to victory.

Player of the Week

I couldn’t choose Brady or anyone else on the Patriots that played against the University of Tennessee in their “Luv ya Blue” Alternate Jerseys. The stats from that game were inflated just slightly more than Jason Giambi’s bank account ($17.1 M per year). So I choose Drew Brees. After the game where the Saints destroyed the G-men, he was quoted as saying

“ I really miss being on the Angels of Harlem. Matt had to give me up and now what idiot is he rolling out as his QB – Matt Ryan. Maybe he likes him more because they have the same name!? I thought we had something special, Matt!